Family 101

Bible Book: Colossians  3 : 2-21
Subject: Home; Marriage; Family Life

Read Colossians 3:2, 18-21 and Ephesians 5:22-6:4

If I were to preach a sermon on The Family knowing it would be my last time to do so on earth, I might preach this sermon. For it gives the basic structure, roles, and responsibilities of the Biblical Family. As such, it gives every member of the family a foundation from which to build upon and govern their family.

I think this is so important for our day. For we have a present generation that is hearing phrases like "It takes a village to raise a child;" "Heather has two Mommies;" and "Three men and a baby;" as acceptable descriptions of a family. The younger generation needs to hear what God's Word says about the foundation of the family, and the older generation needs to be reminded of the same.

The contents of a sermon like this one might even be considered for an introductory course on the family in a Bible College curriculum. We could name it "Family 101." For today, that's just what we'll do. In Family 101 we learn several things.


"Set your affection on things above and not on things on the earth."

A. The Worldly Way

There is a worldly way to do things and there is the right way to do things.

B. The Right Way

There is a right way and must set our hearts on it. The right way is God's way - the Heavenly way.

C. God's Way

God ordained the Family. There is a right way for the Family - all families. If we want a Godly family then we must constitute, arrange, and structure it God's way. God's Family has roles and responsibilities.

II. GOD'S ROLE FOR EACH FAMILY MEMBER Colossians 3:18-21; Ephesians 5:22-6:4

A. The Father, or Husband's Role - The Head of the Family

"Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." (Col. 3:19)

"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body." (Eph 5:23)

Many argue that the man shouldn't be the head of the home. Okay, we will go ahead and concede to the wives, and others, that there are plenty of reasons that the man shouldn't be the head of the family. Let's consider some reasons one might posit for us not to consider the man as the head of the family - I'm speaking in generalizations here.

1. Insensitive

Men don't listen.

I said, "Men don't listen."

Men don't "have a clue" usually to what is going on in the family.

Men forget special days and events.

Men won't help with the kids or household chores

Men work too hard (at the expense of too little time with the family.)

Men leave their soiled [fill-in the blank] around the house!

2. Mean and Angry

Closely akin to men's insensitivity is our meanness and anger. One husband who was so mean that his good wife could never please him. One morning at breakfast he asked her to cook him two eggs, one fried and the other scrambled. When she set the plate with the two eggs in front of him he exploded in anger.

"Well what's wrong now?" asked his discouraged wife.

The husband shouted back, "You fried the wrong egg!"

3. Sports Nuts

Some men boarder on the insane when it comes to sports events and teams. Remember the word "fan" is short for "fanatic." Football; baseball; basketball; NASCAR; deer hunting; golf; fishing, etc... if it isn't one sport, then it is another. And if that isn't enough there is 24 hour sports programming on television!

Have you ever heard of a "sports widow." What about the children? Are yours "sports orphans?"

4. Can't Handle a Diaper

I remember my first diaper change - vividly! Our oldest child will be 32 soon. How do I remember a diaper I changed 32 years ago? Do I have to elaborate?

Hey, we have four children. I've "butchered" them by sticking them with so called "safety pins." Then when we started using disposable diapers with those little "tape thingy tabs", I'd applied the tape to the poor things' skin. I could never get it right. Caryla, their dear mother, always could handle a diaper and about ten other things at the same time!


5. Because We're Guys!

There's some "tongue in cheek" truth to the saying, "If you want to get a man's job done, then get a woman to do it!"

So, you may rightly ask, "Why then should The Man be The Head?" There's a good answer to that, and here it is: God says so-read again Ephesians 5:23.


Wives don't let that discourage you. God knows best and God has a way of doing things that are beyond our figuring out, but never-the-less, are the best for us. For some comfort and understanding on this issue, consider His strategy from 1st Corinthians 1:25-31, especially verses 27 and 28:

"But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are..."

Others may have their reasons for The Man not to be The Head, but God has His reason that Man should be the Head - and I strongly urge you to accept God's plan and reasoning for your family.

B. The Mother, or Wife's Role - The Heart of the Family

"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (Col 3:18)

C. The Children's Role - The Hope of the Family

"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." (Col 3:20)


Therefore, in this Season of Prayer For Your Family, let me suggest these prayers for every member of the family-for your Family's structure, and members' roles, and responsibilities:

1. Pray for the Husband's Spiritual Leadership in Your Family.

a. Pray that the Husband will accept his God given role.

b. Pray that he'll understand that as God has commanded the wife to love the husband submissively, that he the husband is to love his wife sacrificially.

c. Pray that he'll grow in his spiritual maturity.

d. Pray that the husband will love his children by loving their mother and demonstrating it openly before them.

2. Pray for the Wife's Submissive Heart

a. Pray that The Wife will accept her God given role.

b. Pray that she'll see God's strength in her husband's weaknesses.

c. Pray that she'll depend on the LORD to meet her needs that only He can meet. No husband is a "god."

d. Pray that she'll teach the children to love and respect their Daddy.

3. Pray for the Children's Obedient Sprit-and Response!


Children need to learn early to respect and obey authority.

This last Sunday while eating at a local restaurant there was seated next to us a young mother trying to appease her very defiant toddler-why the father wasn't handling this, I don't know (Hold that, I do know). The unruly child had everyone's attention with his loud crying and demands. He even took a swing at his mother! The best she offered for his correction was, "Now, Johnny, if you don't stop, Mommy will have to put you in "time out." Yeah, and he really shuddered at that "threat."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This "time out" philosophy of discipline is ruining a generation of children. If that had been me when I was that young, with my parents, there would be no such thing as "time out" but only "lights out!' Children are not to defy and swing at their parents!

Parents, your children need the "rod of discipline applied to the seat of learning" sometimes. For your sakes and for your children's well being, discipline them to be obedient to your EVERY will for them. And determine that each command from you is Godly and right in its nature. Remember God's command, "Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

"Nurturing" your child is "loving on them" all the time.

"Admonishing" your child is "laying it on them" when they need it.

I promise you parents, your children want to know that there are boundaries, and consequences for crossing those boundaries. Discipline is a very convincing way for your children to know that you love them.

As with any course of learning, especially "Family 101" passing the test is not understanding what the teacher says, but applying what truths the teacher has shared.

God bless you, as you apply God's truth to your family. Let's pray together and for one another's families-and by the way, if you are a widow, or widower, or otherwise "single" won't you look around and "emotionally adopt" one of these young families, and ask God's to hold them and help them?

God bless you.


Now, if you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, I want to invite you to be part of God's Forever Family. Confess your sin to our Heavenly Father, give yourself to the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, trust in His blood shed for the payment of your sin, and by the Person and power of the Holy Spirit, you will be born again-right into The Family of God!

Won't you believe? Won't you come now to Jesus...