Forgiveness - The Benefit, Blessing, And Burden
Introduction
The apostle in Ephesians exhorts and warns us of the danger of harboring ill feelings toward another. We read in Ephesians 4:26-27,
“Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”
Anger can be unselfish and based on love for God and others, however if not released, it can turn to bitterness - ; it progresses to that which is sinful..
This is a quote from the Psalmist: Psalms 4:2-5,
“How long, O you sons of men,
Will you turn my glory to shame?
How long will you love worthlessness And seek falsehood? Selah
But know that the LORD has set apart for Himself him who is godly;
The LORD will hear when I call to Him. Be angry, and do not sin.
Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah
Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And put your trust in the LORD.”
To “set apart” means to be made wonderful. The entire context of this Ps 4 is “total confidence in God amidst his crisis” .8
The best biblical illustration of Eph 4:26-27 is to be found in 2 Cor. 2:3-11,
“So that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. For to this end I also wrote, that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things. Now whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices.”
Unforgiveness really gives the Devil an opportunity to disgrace the unity of church fellowship or family fellowship. With this in mind, forgiveness restores the believer to the place of maximum blessings from God. It restores the purity and joy of fellowship with God to believers.
Think about the joy available through the removal of bitterness and anger, and replacing them with forgiveness and mercy.
I. The Benefits of Forgiveness 31
Paul Meyer, “Forgiveness…The Ultimate Miracle” said that it …
1. Brings Freedom
bitterness – a smoldering resentment, a grudge-filled attitude, a spirit of irritability that brings you into the grip of animosity; it makes you sour.
wrath – wild rage, the passion of the moment
anger – internal smoldering, a subtle and deep feeling
clamor – the outcry of strife; the public outburst that reveals loss of control
evil speaking – slander; defamation of someone that comes from a heart of bitterness malice – evil; root of all vices
2. Brings Power
“put off” – “put on”
The person who angers you, conquers you.
3. It Is Good For Your Health
Studies show that people who forgive are healthier, have less stress, and have lower blood pressure.
4. Releases Your Creativity
Leonardo da Vinci and the painting of the Lord’s Supper illustrates this truth well.
5. Restores Your Relationship With God
Is it worth minimizing your relationship with God?
6. Forgiveness Is Easier Than Unforgiveness
Who wants to be bitter and wallow in self-pity?
7. Brings Hope, Joy, And A Brighter Future
Unforgiveness can blur your vision for the future.
8. Forgiveness Allows God To Bring Justice
Benjamin Franklin noted, “doing an injury puts you below your enemy; revenging one makes you even with him; forgiving sets you above him.”
Our job is to let go, to forgive, and trust God!
II. The Blessing of Forgiveness 32
We have an example (model) to follow in Jesus Christ. We are to be kind, tenderhearted, compassionate, and forgiving. This passage calls for a righteous behavior which displays our righteous identity with Christ. This behavior is an outward manifestation of the inward transformation, which serves as proof that such transformation has taken place.
To forgive literally means to be gracious.
What Forgiveness Is:
A. Acknowledgement of the Hurt
It all begins with accepting that you were hurt.
B. Keeping Your Eyes Open
No pretending; you are honest with yourself and willing to forgive and move on.
C. Showing Mercy
Retaliation is what they deserve, but mercy is the fruit of forgiveness.
D.Keeping No Record of Wrong
You don’t bring it up to them again; no longer allow it to influence you.
E. Living Free From Bitterness
Do you wish to poison your own life because of what someone else did?
F. Taking Responsibility
Let the person who injured you take their responsibility and you take yours.
G. Being Honest About Reality
Honestly evaluate your situation and your options. You might be reconciled with the person who hurt you and you might not. Sometimes it’s possible and sometimes it isn’t, because it always takes two people for a relationship to be restored. If restoration occurs, great; but if not, you have already forgiven.
An Attitude - Begins with a choice you make.
A Lifestyle - You don’t have to weigh each situation and consciously decide if you are going to forgive.
III. The Burden in Forgiveness
Bad definitions of forgiveness can do you more harm than good. Let's look at what Forgiveness Is Not.
A. Forgiveness is Not Approval
If you don’t want your hurt to be repeated on you and others, then don’t approve of it. Approval is acceptance.
B. Forgivenss is Not Forgetting
Forgiveness is not pretending something never happened. The sexually abused daughter who grew up, forgave her dad, purposefully forgot what had been done, and then left her own daughter in his care.
C. Forgiveness is Not Justifying
Justifying the hurt does not lessen the hurt. Knowing what happened is a fact. It might help you understand people and their actions, but facts are not forgiveness.
D. Forgiveness is Not An Obligation
Nobody can force you to forgive. You have to make a conscious decision, after you’ve worked through the hurt and pain
E. Forgiveness is Not Giving In (Not Remaining in Harm’s Way)
You have the right to refuse further pain, hurt, and abuse. If you give in, you are excusing, pardoning, and accepting more of the same. You do not need to stay with people who hurt you. The end result of allowing greater hurt will never produce anything good.
Proverbs 22:3, “A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, But the simple pass on and are punished.”
Here we shift from horizontal to vertical
F. Forlgiveness is Reconciliation or Restoration
That comes after you forgive, sometimes, and if it does, great; however, it is not a prerequisite for forgiveness.
G. Forgiveness is complete by itself – example, the son who forgives his dead father can experience the benefits of forgiveness, but the father-son relationship cannot be reconciled or restored.
Not Rehiring - Questionable babysitter, cheating employee, etc. To forgive is to use your heart and your head.
Not Trust - It does not mean that you trust the person as you did before. To do so would be naïve. Trust that is destroyed must be rebuilt.
Not Getting Even - Forgiveness is giving up your right to hurt someone. Forgiveness has its price; the price is giving up your right to get even.
Not Preventing Consequences - Child Molester - People experience unimaginable pain, hurt, and abuse, but these are not a measurement of the price of forgiveness. No, the price of forgiveness is not measured by the hurt that is caused. The real price of forgiveness is what it costs you to give up an unforgiving attitude.
Piety at home – “Let them first learn to show piety at home.” 1 Timothy 5:4
The Christian is first to manifest godliness in the family circle. We would especially press this upon the attention of those who are so anxious to engage in what they term ‘service for the Lord.’
The ‘service’ which God requires from all of His people – is not a running about here and there, asking impertinent questions of total strangers and prattling to them about Divine things – but to be in subjection to Himself, and to walk obediently to His Word.
To talk to other people about Christ, is far easier than the task which He has assigned to His people – to deny self take up our cross, follow Him and to show piety at home. For if there is no piety in our home life – then all our seeming piety in the Church, and before the world – is but hypocrisy and self- deceit!
(Much of this taken from Arthur Pink, “First Things First”)