The Creation of the Home

The Creation of the Home

J. Mike Minnix

Introduction

We come now to the first sermon in a series of eight sermons on the home. Over the next few weeks we will consider the first institution created by God for the welfare of the human race.The title of this series is Hope For The Home, and certainly our homes need hope and help.

Turn to Genesis 2:18-25 and let's read the creation of man and woman, and the beginning of family life.

Genesis 2:18-25 "And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” ¹⁹ Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. ²⁰ So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. ²¹ And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. ²² Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. ²³ And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵ And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

Note with me four facets related to God's creation of the home and the family. We must understand these principles in the beginning if we have any chance of having a marriage and family according to His plan for us.

I. Believing

To undertand the family we must begin by believing what God says about the beginning of the family. We must believe that God is the author of the home, the authority over the home and the hope for the home, if we expect to have the homelife God intended . The Bible clearly tells us that God created us and He made us male and female. He brought Adam and Eve together to form the very first marriage. Let's look at how this occurred.

A. The Surprising Declaration

"It is not good for man to be alone."

God said that everything He had made up till this point was good, but then something unusual happened. The Creator stated that something was not good - it was not good for Adam to be alone. Be assured of this, God made us to live in fellowship with other human beings. We all know this to be true. When we see someone who has no contact with others and who lives all to himself, we say that he is a bit odd. Furthermore, God intended for the earth to be populated and His intention was that the ultimate earthly fellowship was to be between a man and a woman in marriage. In other words, Eve was in the mind of God long before she was in the arms of Adam! Opposites go together - like a violin and a bow - like peaches and cream.

B. The Serious Operation

How did God go about the process of bringing Eve into Adam's life? All the animals were paraded before Adam and he was given the responsibility and privilege of naming each one of them. Adam noticed something unique while he was naming the animals. There was a Mr. Horse and Mrs. Horse. There was a Mr. Robin and Mrs. Robin. There was a Mr. Alligator and Mrs. Alligator. But Adam observed that there was no Mrs. Adam. He was not a happy camper! Even in a perfect world he knew something was missing because God had put loneliness in his heart.

What God did next is quite poetic and amazing - He performed the first operation. No wonder we call Jesus the Great Physician, for He operated on Adam in the Garden of Eden. The first surgeon was God Himself and he operated on Adam by taking a rib from his side and with that rib He created the woman.

There is an important point related to the manner by which God made Eve. Matthew Henry states that God did not use Adam's skull bone to create Eve, for He would not have her to rule over him. God did not use Adam's foot bone to create Eve, for He would not have him to rule over her. God took a rib from Adam's side so that they could be partners and Eve would always be close to Adam's heart.

C. The Satisfying Presentation

The surgery resulted in some wonderful satisfaction for Adam, for God presented Eve to him. She was different and Adam liked it very much. Adam said, "This is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh." Let me give you a modern translation of what Adam was saying. He actually said, "Wow, this is what I have been looking for - where have you been all my life?"

The Bible uses the Hebrew word ish-shah to describe her, and that word means "soft man."  You can't make women into men or men into women, in spite of the modern movement to do otherwise. My wife and I were not created to compete with each other but to complete each other. Men are better at some things and women are better at some things, but it is when we unite in marriage and do best what we are created to do that true completion takes place in our lives.

Now, was the sugery described in the Bible literal or poetic? Does it matter, really? It is what God says about how he brought a woman and a man together in marital union. In the thousands of years of human existence, we have never found a way to live better than the one God created. People have tried every other method of union and love, but nothing works like that which God prescribed. Marriage and the home is God's design.

II. Leaving

God said something next that is nonsense, unless you understand that He was presenting a principle - a principle that was to stand till the Lord comes to take His children home to be with Him.

A. Revelation of the Principle

Adam and Eve had no father or mother, sent they were created by God. So why did God tell them to leave their parents? You can't leave parents you don't have. God was giving them a divine principle which they were to pass on to their children, their children's children, and so forth for generations to come. The principle has to do with where authority lies once a child grows up and establishes a home and family. Parents and children need to understand this principle and apply, if you expect to have a life that is fulfilling and effective.

B. Resolution of the Problem

Parents have an awesome responsibility from the time their children are born into this world. It is difficult to let go and let God have control of children as they grow older. It is important for parents to begin to train their children to live on their own beginning very early in life. Howard Hendricks says, "If you do anything for your child which the child is fully capable of doing for himself, you are making your child a spiritual cripple."

Children must be taught to carry out chores, do their homework on time, be home when they are told to be home, and to learn that life is a long series of responsibilities. Parents must teach their children to handle money, save money and know how to have a bank account and write a check. Many parents are deeply involved in getting their children to dance lessons, sports training and other activities but are failing to teach them the basics that are required in life. The former activities are good, but the latter are essential. Most importantly, parents must model godly behavior, participation in faithful service in a church, and in tithing and giving to God's work.

Once your child marries and steps out into the world, parents must "butt out" of their child's marriage. The intrusion into the marriage relationship by parents will do one of two things. It will destroy the marriage or alienate the children. Either of these is disastrous. In fact, it can be said that in-laws become out-laws when they push in where there are supposed to stay out. I can't tell you the marriages I have seen damaged by the intrusion of parents in the marriage of their children. Let them go. In fact, insist that they go. It is God's will.

III. Cleaving

A. The Glue of Married Life

God means for you to be glued together with your spouse with a divine super glue. Someone here may be sad that you have not found the right person yet, or that you thought there was a right person but he or she decided to marry another. Don't fret, you may be better off. It is better not to marry than to marry incorrectly.

Have you ever heard about the two little tear drops floating down a stream? Two little teardrops were floating down the river of life. One teardrop said to the other, "Who are you?" The other teardrop said, "I'm a teardrop from a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you?" The other teardrop said, "Well, I am a teardrop of the girl who got him."

Ah yes, we cry over what we lose, and sometimes we cry over what we gain.

The idea found in the term "cleave" in our text is based on a Greek noun meaning GLUE, while the word "joined" in the next verse could be translated "yoked together." God, therefore, indicates that the partners are to adhere to each other faithfully and to work in harmony.

In order to sustain marriage as God intended, we need to understand that we can't base our commitment to it on how we feel. The romantic side of a marriage may wax and wane from time to time. For example, The Saturday Evening Post shared the seven stages of a cold between a husband and a wife.

Year 1. Sugar dumpling, I'm worried about my baby girl. You could be getting strep. I'm am getting you checked into the hospital.

Year 2. I don't like the sound of that cough, I've called Dr. Miller and asked him to rush over here. Go to bed like a good girl.

Year 3. Maybe you better lie down. Nothing like a little a rest  when you feel lousy.

Year 4. Look dear, be sensible. After you have fed the kids and mopped the floor you had better lie down.

Year 5. Take a couple aspirin.

Year 6. I wish you would gargle or something rather than just sitting around barking all evening like a seal.

Year 7. For pete's sake stop sneezing, are you trying to give me pneumonia?

Sadly, it is possible for us to take our spouse for granted, so it is important to "work" at making your marriage successful. That is what God tells us we are to do.

B. The Grace of Married Life

We are to love our mate with grace, the same kind of grace that God gives us. Think of how much God forgives in our lives, that is what we are to do with each other. Our love must be surrounded with a forgiving spirit and an all out attempt to grow better in our relationship as the years pass.

IV. Receiving

A couple must be open to each other fully. Closeness is essential. There must be an intimacy in the marriage.

One couple went to a marriage counselor for help. The counselor observed that the husband was showing no affection to his wife. He tried explaining the matter to the husband but the husband still didn't seem to get it. So the counselor decided an example was needed. The counselor walked around his desk, put his arms around the man's wife and kissed her right on the mouth. He looked at the husband and said, "Your wife needs that at least three times a week."

The husband asked, "Which three days should I bring her in?"

Some men just don't understand the need for closeness. And that might be said about some wives as well.

A. The Sexual Side of Marriage

The world thinks that those of us in the church view sex as something wicked, sinful, and dirty. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sex was created before the fall of man. God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. Sex was ordained by God and is something pure and holy when it is maintained within marriage.

Sadly, those of us in the church have allowed the world to have the high ground when it comes to discussing sex. From Dr. Ruth to Howard Stern, the world offers up a plethora of pitiful platitudes about a subject which must be examined from the Creator's manual on the topic. We should never be ashamed to discuss what God was not ashamed to create. In fact, it is incumbent on us to tell it like it is on this subject. Sex is beautiful in the sight of God, but it must be kept within certain boundaries. Sex was created for procreation and pleasure, and was meant to be enjoyed only in marriage. Premarital sex is sinful, extra-marital sex is sinful, post-marital sex is sinful. In marriage God has told us that the marriage bed is undefiled. We are paying a high price in our day for transgressing this critical part of human life.

B. The Sharing Side of Marriage

Being one with each other in marriage means much more than physical union. A married couple must receive each other psychologically, spiritually, personally, as well as physically. This means that a good marriage will be one where each partner feels total acceptance and total freedom of expression.

Dr. James Peterson of the University of Southern California has studied married couples for years. He states that only 6 out of every 100 people are fulfilled in the marriage relationship. Howard Hendricks says that this is true because couples do not know how to work out conflicts. These unresolved conflicts keep a couple apart.

We have to learn how to deal with our differences. Jayne likes to shop. I used to go with her, but I think I get on her nerves. You see, we men just don't get it. You ladies like to look at everything in the store, but we men like to rush in, get what we came for and dart out to the car. Men are hunters and women are shoppers. There is a vast difference. Hunters find what they are hunting, bag it and head home. Women are shoppers. Shoppers go to the mall to buy a pair of jeans, end up looking at furniture and leave with a pair of shoes for someone else on their shopping list. To men, this makes very little sense.

In order to receive your spouse, you must learn to love the differences. There must be some give and take in order to share and receive in marriage. For example, women like to talk in detail, men like to grunt in summary and generalization. Women have to learn to ask for less detail information from their husbands, and husbands have to learn to give a little more detail when talking to their wives. The wife many ask, "Did Bill and Mary decide to sell their house?" The husband will say, "Unhuh." The wife then says, "Well?" The husband replies, "Well, what?" The wife says, "Well, when are they going to sell it, what do they want for it, where are they going to move, and when do they think they'll be leaving?"The husband has begun to read the paper and replies, "Yes." He didn't hear a word she said. Listen guys, you had better learn to talk with your wife or someone else will.

There must be sharing in the marriage and the home. The following thoughts about the family were reported in a publication entitled "Fingertip Facts:"

"A place of warmth when the world is cold; a place of safety when the world is hostile; a place of light when the world is dark‑‑this is a family.... It is the core around which great nations are built. It is the foundation of any great society. A family is many things: a family is love around the dinner table; devotion walking to church together; friendship laughing under the same roof. A family is mother singing in the kitchen; father whistling around the house; children playing in the yard. A family is a light on the front porch on a dark night. A family is happy songs around a piano....A family is a cheering section when a victory is won; a family is a very private organization.... "Rudyard Kipling once wrote about families, 'All of us are we‑‑and everyone else is they.' A family shares things like dreams, hopes, possessions, memories, smiles, frowns, and gladness....A family is a clan held together with the glue of love and the cement of mutual respect. A family is shelter from the storm, a friendly port when the waves of life become too wild. No person is ever alone who is a member of a family."

Conclusion

The key to a happy marriage is not marrying the right person; the key to a great marriage is in BEING the right person!

You must believe - God has given us instruction.

You must leave - God has given us an exhortation.

You must cleave - God has given us a prescription.

You must receive - God has given us a direction.

If we will follow God's way in marraige, we will have God's blessing in marriage. It is time for husbands and wives to rededicate their lives to God and to each other. Today is the right day to do that and right here is the right place. Let's bring our marriages and homes to the Lord today.

And always remember - every one needs three homes:

A family home (commit our family to God and God's way)

A heavenly home (to be saved and sure in Christ)

A church home (a church where you are a participating, faithful member)