Things Are Changing Fast

Introduction

Humorous stories abound about the difficulties between men and women. Perhaps you would enjoy this one.

"Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren't able to name that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return."

"As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...."

Some of you twisted people got that joke a little too fast. Others of you, who are among the non- twisted ones, will get it in just a little while. We know that there are many stories, which jokingly speak about the difficulties between men and women. Joking aside, however, we know that God's ideal and intention is far different than a perpetual antagonism. God's plan is for there to be harmony. God's plan is that we not only stay together but that we also teach the faith of Christ to our families. Simply put, that is not happening.

"Jay Strack, youth evangelist, in Orlando, Florida shares the following statistics. 88% of those age 29 and younger go to no kind of church or place of worship. The sad truth is that many of the 12% who do attend, do not come of their own free will but are required to come by family members or parents. Look at it another way."

"85% to 88% of young adults in evangelical churches leave the church and do not come back after they turn 18 years of age."

I come to you as one who is experiencing the rigors of modern family life with all that involves. I am married to the most patient woman in the world and am the very proud father of three girls. I have learned a great deal since the arrival of those "three little blessings." I can identify wholeheartedly with the story of the young child psychologist who started his practice with four theories and no children. Some years later he had four children and no theories.

I come to you not only as a husband and father, but also as a pastor. In this particular setting, I am constantly made aware of the needs, problems, and anxieties facing our families today. As a pastor, I have come to be deeply burdened about the family, for I have come to that even the seemingly strong marriages and families often have extreme needs.

With this in mind, I would like for us today to identify some of the most crucial areas in family life. As we begin to look at this subject, "Kingdom Families," let us first realize that

I. We Are Facing A Situation Unparalleled In History

George Orwell in his book, "1984," made 137 specific predictions about the future, over 100 of which have already come true. He predicted three super-powers waging "continuous warfare of limited aims in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia, defoliants that would strip the earth barren, think tanks where experts plan the future, helicopter gunships, large TV screens, voice analyzers, data banks containing detailed personal information, rapid retrieval of data." A number of his predictions relating to medicine have come true - artificial insemination, subcortical surgery, and the state using drugs to control behavior. But I found most interesting of all Orwell's prediction of the breakup of the family and the dissolution of emotional ties between men and women and their children.

Is his prediction coming true? God's ideal is expressed in Genesis 2:24 and other passages which state that a man and a woman shall become one flesh and shall remain together to love and protect one another as well as the children which are born as a result of the love the parents share.

For several years now social scientists have warned us the family is disintegrating and will not survive this century. Several writers have criticized the family and stated that this process of disintegration ought to be encouraged.

The family has faced deep dilemmas before, but never like today. Is there danger that the family will cease to exist? No, I do not think so. We do have serious cause for concern. There are certain trends prevalent today which will incapacitate the family, destroy its integrity, and cause its members to suffer such crippling emotional conflicts that they can become an intolerable burden to society.

II. The Fracturing Of The Family Is Being Encouraged By Our Modern Lifestyle

Let us also realize that The Fracturing Of The Family Is Being Encouraged By Our Modern Lifestyle And Philosophies. In Colossians 2:8, Paul pleads with the people to "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."

This is the only occurrence of the word "philosophy" in the New Testament. The word is a noble one, literally meaning "love of wisdom." Here, however, because the reference is to the Colossian error, it has a derogatory connotation.

Paul uses three descriptive phrases to characterize this "hollow and deceptive" system. First, it is "after the tradition of men." Paul may mean the mass of oral tradition the Jews had engrafted on the written law. It is more likely, however, that the term refers to various pagan theories current in that day. Second, it was a philosophy that "depends on...the basic principles of this world." "Basic principles" translates a word of multiple meanings. The sense in the present passage may be either the elements of learning or the elemental spirits. The passage means either that the "philosophy" of the errorists was a system instigated by the elemental spirits or that it was a system having the elemental spirits as its subject matter. Third, it was a system "not after Christ." This is Paul's most telling criticism. The meaning is that the "philosophy" of the heretics did not accord with the truth as it is revealed in Christ. He is the standard by which all doctrine is to be measured, and any system, whatever its claims, must be rejected if it fails to conform to the revelation God has given us in him.

We have been captured by the hollow philosophies of our present age. One of them is the almighty materialism. This is our way of life. Materialism makes the home less important than securing things. We have the best dressed, best housed families in history and yet our families are so neglected we hardly know one another.

The second of these modern philosophies is the belief that if we keep busy, we keep happy. In our production-oriented society, being busy, having an occupation, has become one of the main ways if not the main way, of identifying ourselves. Being busy has become a status symbol.

Someone has called our society an aerosol society. I agree. We are so busy, so pressured, that most families sleep in the same house, but that is about the only time one can find them all together under the same roof.

There is another problem with our society, which is directly fracturing the family. It is our attitude of impermanence. We live in a no deposit, no return society. Everything is disposable. This philosophy is becoming accepted even in Christian circles.

The fourth modern philosophy which is wrecking havoc with our families is the mass media morality which we have bought into. Our value systems are being influenced now more than ever by a small box in the den called the TV. The average viewing time of the American child is between 28 hours per week. If he lives to be 80, and continues to watch TV at that rate, he will have spent more than ten years of his life watching television.

Please don't tell me that much exposure doesn't influence the morals of our children and of us. Yes, the family is being fractured by our modern lifestyle and philosophies.

III. The Fracturing Of The Home Is Causing Tragic Penalties

We most often think of the divorce problem. We hear much about this and indeed it is a cause of great concern. Let us look at some other results. One of the great tragedies is the dissolution of emotional ties between parents and children. The Bible says in I Timothy 5:8, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." While most feel that this applies to food, and material necessities, it means so much more. It can apply to every aspect of parent-child relationships. The word "provide for" literally means to "Think of before hand," and "take thought for." We must stop the emotional and spiritual neglect of our children.

According to the Bible, one who fails to do this is worse than a nonbeliever. One writer observes, "The Christian who falls below the best heathen standard of family affection is the more blameworthy, since he has, what the heathen has not, the supreme example of love in Jesus Christ."

Dr. Armand Nicholi, a Harvard Psychiatrist reports that at least one study shows that the average time per day fathers spend with their preschool children is 37 seconds. Is it any wonder that our emotional ties are breaking?

The next tragic result is a generation of disoriented youth. While many young people are following the Lord in their growth and development, many more are not. Millions of our young people have little or no direction. Many do not seem to know what is right, or where to look for direction.

Last month, I read in our local paper that so many Americans between 16 and 24 are dying in alcohol and drug related accidents that the life expectancy of that group has dropped to what it was 20 years ago. Our youth are in need of God's touch, our love and direction.

There are many other tragic penalties as a result of the fracturing of our family system. There is the lack of respect for our senior adults, there is the problem of extreme sexual promiscuity resulting in epidemics of venereal disease. There is the abortion tragedy.

There is so much that one wonders if there is hope. Some say society is out of control. Jeremiah 32:26-27 says, "Then the word of the LORD came to Jeremiah: "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" There is hope. Friends, our homes are fractured. The only hope is a miracle. The good news is that a miracle is available. God's power is sufficient. He stands ready for families to utilize it. God's way works. He stands ready to show us. If you want a family that is different, distinctly set apart for God's glory, a Kingdom family that enjoys life and reaps the rewards of His best gifts, then start right. Pay attention to those whom you date and certainly to the one you marry. And if you fail to start right back then, start today. It is never too late to start doing what is right. Put our Lord back in top priority. He can heal our families. We need Kingdom families.