The Distress of Disappointment

Bible Book: Deuteronomy 3 : 25-37

Subject: Disappointment; Faith; Commitment

Introduction

In 1858 the Illinois legislature used an obscure statute to send Stephen A. Douglas to the U.S. Senate instead of Abraham Lincoln even though Lincoln had won the popular vote. When a sympathetic friend asked Lincoln how he felt, he sighed, “Like the boy who stubbed his toe: I am too big to cry and too badly hurt to laugh.”i

What has been your biggest disappointment in life? Note that I didn’t ask, “Have you ever been disappointed?” Everyone has suffered from the distress of disappointment in one form or another. Some more appropriate questions . . . “How often have you been disappointed?” “How severely were you hurt?” “Have you moved past it?”

The most powerful of the powerful people of our world have been confronted with the distress of disappointment. The richest of the rich have been confronted with the distress of disappointment. The most religious of the religious have known the distress of disappointment. Disappointment is a part of the software package of all models of human beings.

Let’s look at a familiar Bible story—but this time, imagine yourself to be the main character.

I. The Reality of Disappointment

As the time for your birth approached, your mother was gripped by apprehension. That apprehension became panic when you were born and she discovered you were a boy. Pharaoh had decreed that all Hebrew male babies were to be thrown into the river to drown. But your mother was determined to protect you. She hid you for three months and then put you into a basket and hid you in the reeds at the edge of the river. She told your big sister to watch and see what happened.

Something did happen—something incredible. The daughter of the very ruler, who had ordered the murder of all the Hebrew baby boys, came down to the place where you were hidden. And she saw you floating in the basket.

Instead of having you drowned, she took you home with her and adopted you as her own. In an even more miraculous turn of events, she hired your mother to take care of you.

As you grew up, your mother told you again and again, “God has something special for you. That’s why He spared you.” Your adopted mother saw that you received the finest education available. Your natural mother gave you a foundation of faith in God. Maybe your mother was right—maybe God was planning something special for you.

A personal conflict with an Egyptian forced you to leave your adopted land. During the next forty years, as you cared for your sheep in the wilderness, the dream of specialness diminished.

But then suddenly the dream sprang to life again. It was an ordinary day just like every other day except on this ordinary day something extraordinary happened. You found God—or rather, God found you. He spoke to you from a burning bush. He called you by your name.

God said He wanted to deliver the Hebrews—your own people—from their bondage and bring them into a land of plenty. And He wanted you to lead them out of the land of slavery and into their land of promise. You would be His exclusive deliverer.

It all happened just as God said. He used you to deliver your people, miraculously setting them free from their oppressors. For the next forty years you led this massive tribe of people through the wilderness—the same wilderness where you had cared for your sheep. You knew it like the back of your hand. Out ahead was the Promised Land.

How wonderful to see the plan of God unfold. But how dreadful to deal with the people you were leading. Nit-picking and bickering and conflict and jealousy and fear—you got so sick of it you wanted to give up. But you didn’t because God had given you a promise. You were His special deliverer. You would lead the Hebrews out of their land of bondage—that part had already happened. And you would lead them into their land of promise—that was still ahead.

However, it never happened. Or least, not the “leading them into their land of promise“ part. Instead, God selected someone else to lead them into the Promised Land. God allowed you to see it, like a mirage, enticing you from a distance but vanishing before you ever experienced it. A lifetime of hope and expectation evaporated.

What if that astounding story became a reality in your life? What would you feel? If you were honest, I’m sure you would feel what Moses felt—disappointment.

II. Reasons of Disappointment

Why do disappointments come? Perhaps we can discover some answers by looking at the life of Moses.

Why was Moses not allowed to go into the Promised Land? I’ve always thought the answer to that question was obvious. Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land because of his own sin when he lost his temper at Meribah Kadesh and struck the rock when the people needed water. He brought about his disappointment himself. That’s what I’ve always believed. However, as I studied the Scriptures more carefully, I discovered the answer is not so plain and simple.

In Deuteronomy 3:26, Moses said to the people, “But because of you the LORD was angry with me and would not listen to me.” The people’s rebellion at Meribah Kadesh played a part in his disappointment.

In Numbers 27:12-14, God told Moses that neither he nor Aaron would enter the Promised Land because of their rebellion: “Now the LORD said to Moses: ‘Go up into this Mount Abarim, and see the land which I have given to the children of Israel. And when you have seen it, you also shall be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother was gathered. For in the Wilderness of Zin, during the strife of the congregation, you rebelled against My command to hallow Me at the waters before their eyes.’” And so Aaron also played a part in the sin that led to Moses’ disappointment.

So we see there are usually not simple answers to our why questions. Life is complicated. Sometimes other people are responsible for our disappointments. Sometimes we are responsible ourselves. When that is the case, we need to accept responsibility and seek forgiveness.

Other times there may be no sin involved. The disappointment may be a part of God’s greater plan. God disappoints us and baffles us sometimes in order to make us succeed. If Phillips Brooks had succeeded as a schoolmaster, he would never have stood in the pulpit to move men with his mighty ministry. If Frederick Robertson had got his commission in the British army, he would never have written the sermons which still throb with his great and yearning spirit. If Hawthorne had been retained at the custom house, he never would have written those wonderful studies in the deep places of human sorrow and love and sin.ii

III. Responses To Disappointment

So what is the solution? We all face disappointments. How should be deal with them? We have three options.

When disappointment comes, we can strike out at others. We can blame and try to get even. Our disappointment explodes outwardly in anger and bitterness and a derogatory spirit.

If I have to be unhappy, I’ll do my best to make everyone else unhappy as well. If I can’t have a certain girl, then no one will have her. I’ll just spread rumors about her and ruin her reputation.

If I can’t win over my competitor, I’ll destroy him. That was the story line written into the movie Amadeus, which portrayed the adversarial relationship between Mozart and court composer Salieri.

Or we can respond in a second way. When disappointment comes, we can give up. In 1986, Donnie Moore was an all-star relief pitcher for the California Angels. Besides playing in the all-star game that year, Donnie Moore had an opportunity to play in the Western Division play-offs. In a crucial game of the series, Donnie Moore was on the mound. Dave Henderson was at the plate. Ninth inning, two outs. If Moore retired Dave Henderson, the Angels would win the play-offs and go to the World Series.

Regrettably, he did not retire Dave Henderson. Instead, Henderson hit a home run. The Angels lost the game and eventually the opportunity to go to the World Series. That began a downhill slide for Donnie Moore that ended in his suicide less than three seasons later. A friend of his made this statement: “He never got over that loss.”iii In less dramatic ways, we often lose hope when disappointment comes and we drop out of life.

Our third—and best—choice: When disappointment comes, we can move on. Joseph trudged along the road on his way to slavery in Egypt. His hands were chained and he choked on the dust of the camels. His disappointment shook him to the core. But he moved on. And later he was able to comfort his brothers with this divine insight: “You tried to harm me, but God made it turn out for the best, so that he could save all these people, as he is now doing” (Genesis 50:20 CEV).

When David’s plan to build a magnificent house for God, which the prophet Nathan supported, was vetoed by God, his disappointment ran deep. But he moved on. He solidified the armies of Israel and established it as one of the leading nations of his time.

When Job’s life fell apart, disappointment shattered the stability of his health and well-being. Job exclaimed, “If only my grief could be weighed and my devastation placed with it on a scale” (Job 6:2 HCSB). But he moved on. Out of the ashes of his shattered life came this remarkable affirmation of faith: “For I know that my Redeemer lives, And He shall stand at last on the earth” (Job 19:25).

When Paul’s prayer for relief from the thorn in his flesh went unanswered time and again, disappointment invaded his life like a fog on a dismal winter morning. But he moved on. Out of that disappointment came a lightning bolt of truth that carried him through the difficulties during the rest of his ministry: “Therefore,” Paul wrote, “I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

And Moses’ disappointment did not cause him to lose faith in God or hope in his future. He died in peace on Mount Nebo’s peak, believing in the everlasting purposes of God.

Conclusion

When disappointment comes, how will you respond? Will you blame others and try to get even? Will you allow disappointment to defeat you and cause you to give up? Or will you trust God? Will you rely on His love and not your circumstances? Will you submit your will to His? Will you trust Him to work all things together for good? Only then will you be able to overcome the distress of disappointment . . . and move on.

i “Disappointment.” Sermon illustrations, http://www.sermonillustrations.com/a-z/d/disappointment.htm (November 8, 2010).

ii “Disappointment sermon illustrations.” moreillustrations.com, http://www.moreillustrations.com/Illustrations/disappointment%201.html (February 6, 2011).